Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
