I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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