the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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