I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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