How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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