i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
