i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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