so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
