So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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