Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
