Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
we made out on top of his cat.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We have started to decorate penises.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
