i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
