Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
