I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
love makes seman taste better
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
