ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
