uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
