Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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