im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
