My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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