Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
