im about as happy as oj after his trial
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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