Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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