Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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