my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just pee around me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
