I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
