3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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