You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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