Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
