help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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