She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
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my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
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They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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