Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
