Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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