between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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