Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
