id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
