Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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