she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Randomize