I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
