I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
