i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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