chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Say something about gay babies.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
