When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
