I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
