i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
BRING THE BAGELS
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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