Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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