Well douche your snatch and let's go!
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
