Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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