Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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