So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize