I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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