i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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