She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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