If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
