You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
