I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
