well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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