Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize