Dual....:-)
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
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