my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
