A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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