When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
