You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
