i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
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This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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